Welcome to The Fake Intellectual, a thoughtfully curated online journal of essays, reflections, and curiosities. Here you’ll find a quiet space for considered thoughts, shared interests, and meaningful distractions. Settle in and enjoy the slow pleasure of reading, published twice a year.

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Issue 12; The White Short Directive

by T W Coombs

The UK has been hit with ridiculous temperatures and even though they have slipped over the last few days it is still summer.  And a favourite of this season is the white chino short, but they cause a problem if you are new to the white sort.  And I’m not talking sitting on Grass, which is a no no by the way.  I am talking about what to wear with them. 

You see it is easy to go wrong, if you were a navy blue top, don’t wear navy blue loafers as you look like a stripe.  The best way is to break up the colours.  Another one you really can’t do is where a white top, of any kind, you will look like a pool boy at a hotel.  If you were at a hotel when you wear white on white don’t be surprised when someone asks you for a fresh towel.

So your best option is keep it simple, top and shoes should not match in colour, simple rule one.  Some of the best shoes to wear are white or off white trainers or pumps, invisible socks or no socks is a must, we don’t want to see high socks, you are not a gangster.  Top wise you can go anyway you want.  Above I have paired my white shorts with a patterned loud short sleeve shirt with some light grey slip-on's.  You could also wear a plain t-shirt in a nice grey and then pair with a pair of Chuck Taylor Converse in white or off-white.

Unless you have to do not wear a black t-shirt, even though black and white should go it just looks odd and have dressed as a zebra or piano.

So go forth and embrace the white short, but don’t go and get a curry when wearing them, I did this now need a new pair.

TC x